Call me a BITCH before you call me a BRIDE.

Yikes!

I have never felt more resistant to a title in my life!

I identify with the title Bitch more than I ever will with the title Bride.

Not bc of my commitment issues ;)
But bc of the TOTAL BS that comes with it!

Holy Cannoli!

An entire industry that surrounds ONE DAY.


ONE day!

It's ONE MF day!

There is so much concern for this ONE day that the lifetime with the person you love is Over Shadowed! We need to concentrate on the marriage not just the wedding DAY!

It's just too much pressure for that "Fairy Tale" wedding!
& even at the end of Fairy Tales the title screen reads: They lived happily ever after...
NOT: They will live happily ever after only IF your wedding day is a "Grand Success"!!!!


Yikers!

I used to work as a Bridal model at Kleinfeld's, an upscale bridal store. & the salespeople would dress me in these $15,000+ gowns & have me knock on brides-to-be dressing rooms & show them my gown. Some girls would say I LOVE it! But it's out of my budget. I would say okay I understand & politely leave the room. The sales ladies would huff & push me back into the same room. In hopes of shaming the girls into buying a more expensive dress. These were their bridal consultants so they KNEW the bride-to-be's budget! They would push me into these rooms KNOWING they could not Afford this dress!
Why would you make someone feel bad so they will spend more money?

It was GROSS.

Eventually, I was fired bc they said I was too skinny & too short to wear the gowns.

But...
I think it was also bc I wasn't a hard sell!

I was young. Had no bridal plans in my near future so I had no idea what was expected of me as a member of the multi-million dollar beast called the bridal industry:

"Make the bride-to-be feel like if she doesn't have the best, most expensive, coolest, Hottest, hippest, latest, in style, "nicest" (insert whatever product you are selling) her day is going to FAIL Miserably!"

Well, I failed at this! Bc I was not keen on making the brides-to-be feel bad if they couldn't Afford a gown! The gowns I wore were BEAUTIFUL!!! But...$$$$15,000 for a dress to wear One Day did not make sense to me! It didn't make sense that these bridal shop workers were hawks that would swoop down on their little chickie prey!

I saw the under belly of the beast! I overheard these sales people talk disbarring about their customers and their budgets. Next time you are in a bridal store watch as the salespeople line up and assess budgets. It's gross!

Needless to say...It left a SOUR taste in my mouth.

I am a bride to be. I am happy :) I love my fiancé. He is a good person. He would work 3 jobs to get me a $15,000 dress if I Really wanted it. That's nice. But I do not want it.

I am so turned off by my experiences on the hawk side of the bridal industry that now that I am the little chickie Bride I have no patience.

Going to look at restaurants, flowers, invitations, favors, hair, make-up, shoes...the second you tell them it's a wedding the price jumps! Once it's titled a Wedding...Cha-Ching!

Obviously, all of these things are costly anyway...

But I don't think they should emotionally COST the bride-to-be anything! Why push pricing or a product merely bc you Can bc you know this person is vulnerable bc they Want the best for their wedding day?

It's predatory. & unladylike.

So...

*I learned that when someone tries to give me the bridal hard sell it's time to leave.

*Stay away from vendors that make u feel icky. Or simplify u. Or minimize u to a budget.

*Seek out those people who make you feel radiant inside and out regardless if it's your wedding Day! (Niki Brennan: make up artist & great person! nikibrennan.com)

*There are a Zillion D.I.Y. wedding websites with fantastic ideas :)))

*I learned that even the $15,000+ gowns have lesser priced equivalents!

You have a lifetime of days to shine :) This is just One PARTY day! Yeah you want to throw a great Bash for your friends and family but if you are happy they will be too! Enjoy it :)


MOST IMPORTANTLY....
Get back to basics:
The BIG day is a BIG spiritual day. Where you are telling your partner, family, friends, your country and the World you want to be with this person!!!! Of course we want your hair to look Fantabulous!!! But...it shouldn't be at the expense of what's really important...your happiness & your financial future!!!

Today, Be kind to a bride you know bc as we speak someone somewhere is telling them they are not enough unless they purchase their product!

Check out this Special K ad I found in a wedding mag:
Harmless enough...but read the text. 
"What will you GAIN if you lose?
Glow, sparkle, and shine on your big day with a free customized weight management plan at specialk.com/wedding."

Ahh!! 
I HAVE to lose weight for my wedding day?!?
I won't Glow if I look the same? Why does a cereal company have a wedding web address??

Very subtle. I'm not going to picket this ad but, it points out the norm for targeting brides: You have to CHANGE in time for your big Day!

Now reflect on this: Think back to the weddings you had the most FUN at. Were they the most expensive? Was it the music? The company? How happy the couple was? What the bride looked like???

Remind the bride in your life that they don't have to Change a thing!

& I will work on getting comfortable with my new B-title ;)


Xo