PUNK ROCK SELF-HELP

My September 11th Story

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

On the morning of September 11th, I was shaken awake at 8:50am by my then boyfriend. He told me to look at the T.V.
I did.
I was in shock.
But...there had been events in the past with the Twin Towers. Fires, Bombings, Scares...I thought to myself that this is the same and Everything will turn out just fine!

Then the second plane hit.

We watched it happen.

SHOCK.

Emergency broadcast sounds rang in my ears.

I was on 4th St bt 1st & 2nd. We were less than 2 miles away from the attacks!

We walked to Broadway. The smell was indescribably. Like burning wood with gas, metal & oil. Not natural.
There was a dooming cloud of gray smoke enveloping the sky that was traveling towards us.

SKOCK.

We went back inside glued to the T.V.

That night we walked around the city. Union Square was a candle light vigil. As we passed hospitals, people had posted photocopy pictures of their loved ones. The messages read: Name/weight/last seen/Beloved husband...with notes about how they were missed.

It was heartbreaking.

At first, I felt it was my duty to memorize the faces of people on these lost posters. Eventually, there were just too many faces to remember.

Memorial tiles slowly would be added to hang on a chain link fence in the West Village on the corner of 7th ave & 11st.

News stations played the second plane crashing into the 2nd Tower on loop:

Plane flying.
Tower 2 hit.
People falling from the sky.

Over and Over and Over again.

I stopped watching T.V.

The city itself was crying. The images on T.V. Could never explain the grief of the aftermath.

Days later, reporters spoke of how they would no longer show the image of the second plane crashing into the building bc of the psychological effects it had on Children.

& I thought, what about us adults?

The news was a good thing bc it told of what was happening in NYC for those not here. But for us. We were...Stuck Here. Picking up the pieces.

It was surreal.

NYC was a crime scene & we all just had to continue living within it.

I was stuck in Manhattan until the Friday after. I still lived in Staten Island and my car was stuck on a street blocked in.

My drive home was a somber one.

As I drove past lower Manhattan it felt like there was major surgery going on downtown but the Dr's wouldn't let us watch.

Driving through Brooklyn & coming over the Verrazano Bridge it felt like a ghost town.

It looked different.

Everything looked different.

I drove past the Boardwalk, an Irish bar I worked at as a cocktail waitress. I desperately wanted to learn how to bartend but there was a strict rule that "girls" couldn't make our own drinks.

So...

All of the male bartenders would have to make my drinks for me.

All except for Eddie.

Eddie & I worked together on Tuesday nights. It was the pool league night. It was our night to catch up, eat pretzels, & him teaching me how to Bartend!

Eddie let me POUR MY OWN DRINKS. He let me touch the liquor bottles And the soda gun!!!

This was a VERY BIG DEAL.

Bc he would get in trouble for letting me do this. & again...I'm a "girl" I should be cocktailing a table, not touching the Jack Daniels!

Eddie was a fireman.

I say was bc he died in 9/11.

In 9/11.
On 9/11
9/11 he died.

It was sad.

He was young!!! Had 2 kids...

Just didn't make sense.

I went into work the Tuesday night after. A week had gone by since September 11th.

No Eddie.

They were still searching for him.

Weeks after I showed up to my shifts at the Boardwalk. I missed Eddie. There was a void missing. & it was time to use what Eddie taught me to stand behind a bar on my own!

I started working at a new place Bartending during the day, the Gecko.

Now, I guess on Staten Island it's a law to have a bar in walking distance to a funeral home. Bc both of my jobs were down the block from them.

The funerals for the Firemen were non-stop. It got to the point where I got to know the guys.

We would joke & have a good time.
Then Silence.
Like they were waiting for the punch line to come but it never came.

I would get them another round. Always on the house.
They would tip me big.
And would leave saying: "See you next week Betsy!"

The next week would come and we would do the same thing all over again.

As the rubble was uncovered and the hope of finding more people disappeared, funerals were planned.

This was a Hard time for New York.
For me this was the time New York needed me most.

As people left Manhattan in droves bc they were scared. I came bags packed & ready.

Ready for whatever anyone wanted to throw at us!

We are New York Fn City!

In a way all of those Fireman funerals I worked paid for my move into Manhattan.

& if it wasn't for my Tuesday nights of Bartending with Eddie I never would have had the confidence to become a Bartender.

I moved into my apartment the January after Sept 11.

Staten Island was the borough that lost the most people: Police Officers, Firemen, EMT, Civilians...

I was sad to leave SI...

As I drove around street signs were changing to people's names to honor their passing.

It was surreal.

It had happened.

It was happening.

It was going to continue happening.

We just had to pick up the pieces & continue living.

That's just what I did.

My new apartment was 4 blocks away from the 9/11 tiles on 7th ave. They still hang there. I always pass and remember when their paint was fresh. The tiles were rehung last year. But still have weathered & messages are harder to read then when 1st kilned.

Much like the silent hysteria we all suffered that day will be imprinted on our minds forever.

When I travel outside of NY, many homes I walk into have the Twin Towers plaques, plates, or coins proudly displayed on their mantle.

I always find it amazing how much support we had on that September morning. We might have felt helpless but there were Angels all over the world sending us love & prayers!

The attacks that happened on September 11th, 2001 weren't just against NYC or the USA. This was a human experience. That everyone around the world mourns.

Today, Where were you on September 11th? Everyone has a 9/11 story. This affected us all...

Bow your head & give thanks to all of our fallen heros. May they rest in peace & may we prosper in their memory.

Xo



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