Back of Milk Cartons

I'm about to put up Lost signs around my neighborhood.

A picture of myself on the back of milk cartons.

Then...
Call my name out really loud...

All in hopes of finding myself...


It seems that I can't find the 2010 version of myself. The one who worked effortlessly passionately to the bone for her art. Bc she was at one with herself.

Since then...
I went through a break up.

And after it I felt like time stood still for me.

Like I was moving forward but parts of me were being left behind.

And I kept pushing myself towards moving forward: by actually moving, living, starting new relationships...
I had the courage to keep putting myself out there even though I suffered a great trauma and loss.

Gratefully I was able to show up for myself at that time.
& get out.
& put myself out there.

But...

I feel detached at times and not totally present.

I feel like there are remnants of myself still there.

Like she is hanging out there, in 2010, still trying to figure out what went wrong and why.

But...

I need her back.
(I say that lovingly :)

I need her to forgive herself.
Accept that it's over.
Realize that she did the best she could.

& jog up to the 2013 version of me.

I have this image of myself now in my head, that I'm in a van with my hand on the keys in the driver seat waiting for her to run up and get into the side sliding door. For us to get into the "get away car" to cruise into the sunset!

It would be nice to...

Feel safe.
& Whole.

Trust in the day.
Accept the past.
Hope towards the future.

As we drive our hippie van away :)

Are there parts of you that are left in the past? Ever feel like you have that "One day" on repeat and are trying to figure it out and how things coulda went differently?!?

Now...

Imagine the 2013 version of you in a sedan with the driver side door open. Hangn out, jamming to music. The key is in the ignition.

What version of yourself in the past do you see jogging towards your car? Are you happy to see her or him? Are you cheering for them in your head?!

High Five the heck out of each other!

Now...

Think back to your most happiest memory, have that version of yourself jog up to the car & open the back driver side door to get in.

High Five the other 2 versions of you!

Now...

Think back to your most confused unhappiest memory, have that version of you jog up to the car and get into the passenger side back door.

High Five the heck out of the other 3 versions of you!

Now...

All 4 versions introduce themselves to each other!

HUG really hard!

Now...

It's time for their road trip to Today, ALL of you in the get away car to finally Be reunited :)

Xo