I am a Misfit.

"I'm anti-social, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? Social to me means talking about things like this. Or talking about how strange the world is. Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? An hour of TV class, an hour of baseball another hour of transcription history or painting pictures, but do you know, we never ask questions, or at least most don't; they just run the answers at you, bing, bing, bing, and us sitting there. That's not social to me at all. It's a lot of funnels and a lot of water poured down the spout and out the bottom, and them telling us it's wine when it's not. 

I guess I'm everything they say I am, all right. I haven't any friends. That's supposed to prove I'm abnormal. But everyone I know is either shouting or dancing around like wild or beating up one another. Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? I'm afraid of children my own age. They kill each other.

I like to watch people. Sometimes I ride the subway all day and look at them and listen to them. I just want to figure out who they are and what they want and where they're going. And do you know what? People don't talk about anything. Not anything. They name a lot of cars or clothes or swimming-pools. But they all say the same things and nobody says anything different from anyone else. I guess I'm everything they say I am. I don't mix."

An excerpt from Ray Bradbury's book Fahrenheit 451. 

This was the first monologue I memorized. 

I performed this monologue in front of Tom Oppenheim, Stella Adler's grandson. It got me into Stella Adler's Acting Conservatory. 

I first read Fahrenheit 451 in High School. It remains my favorite book. For me, it was a  book about a girl who doesn't fit in with everyone around her. 

I was voted "Class Individualist" in senior year of High School. Me and my Misfit best friend both got awards. Surreal getting awarded for not fitting in...

I woke up this morning sad. 

Heartbroken. 

And I turned my phone on and took my fur baby Dottie out in the backyard. Sat feeling the sun and said let me go to YouTube to find a good song. When this TED popped up.

https://youtu.be/9AgCr2tTvng

"The beauty of being a Misfit."

By Lidia Yuknavitch

I sat there crying with my eyes closed. Just listening. 

When it was over, I opened my eyes and saw this...*

Magic. 

Whenever, I see a heART:) I know I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be in the world. 

It's all going to be okay. 

I am a Misfit. 

And in Lidia's blessed words, 

"At the moment of your Failure-you are beautiful. You, Misfit, have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly. Dead center in the middle of your Failure. You are so beautiful." 

Today, Misfit. 

You are beautiful. 

You belong. 

With me. 

Here. 

Always. 

Misfits fit. 

Xoxo

Ps: *this was the angle of the heART:) I saw. And Dottie wasn't in the picture. She was out exploring! 

Pps: I added, "I guess I'm everything they say I am. I don't mix", to the end of the monologue for dramatic effect. ;) It's not written like that in the book!