Closing down my Law Offices of Hoffman & Associates.
Hmm...
This is a big one.
Turns out, I learned last night at my Divorcecare class that part of Forgiveness is giving the judgement over to God.
K...
What does that mean for me now at this moment?
Well, in the class video it said that God has his own "courtroom". And that's where the wrath happens. Bc God is a Sovereign God it's up to him to give revenge etc.
Now, as you guys know All I do is give all of my problems up to God.
Like ALL of em.
I can't handle anything anymore.
My God jar is overflowing!!!
(Duh! Just realized there needs to be a GSTQ post on THE God Jar!!)
So...
When the man in the video said that if we truly believe in giving it over to God then we are not responsible to hold the judgement.
Which I knew.
And have no judgment Bc it's not my place to judge.
Also, I have no interest in Revenge. Like none.
Everyone has their own Higher Power.
But...
What this did make me realize is that for so long I was putting together all of the evidence for this "case."
NOT to use against.
Rather, to UNDERSTAND.
I have been gathering evidence and piecing together a timeline bc the one person who has all the answers isn't forthcoming with it.
It's been months now.
They aren't forthcoming with specifics, dates, timelines and honesty of WTF happened?!?
So...
I need to close the "case."
Bc I might never know the truth.
Not sure He even knows the truth.
Truth.
Most people lie to Themselves so how can I expect honesty?!?
So...
In the interest of healing, I think it's time to stop trying to figure it all out.
Looks like I will never hear ALL of the truth anyway. And piecing together someone else's mind is making me go out of my mind!
Even though I was compiling all of this info to Understand it's still using up part of my brain space.
I imagine this room in my brain with files and overflowing papers.
I'm closing the doors to the "evidence room."
Bc...
It's not up to me.
My star witness is hostile.
Time to move on.
Today, Are you Judge and Jury?!?
Do you hold files in your brain of other's shortcomings?
Be honest!
K...
I worked my a** off to NOT DO THIS in my life.
And with this latest "case" I just realized I am. Not with the evil intent of retaliation rather to UNDERSTAND.
Unfortunately for me, the ending results are the same. I am lost feeling icky, confused and overwhelmed.
Get rid of the "evidence room" in your head. It's occupying vital real estate that will now be used on a worthy "caUse!" ;)
Xoxo
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U da Bomb! thanks for commenting xo