Strangling Throat Chakra

I strangle myself with anxiety and fear. I block my own throat air way when I get scared. Hold my breathe. And restrict the air from coming in freely. 

Realized how bad this can be this past weekend. 

I am strangling myself. 

?!?!

For the past few years, I’ve been doing throat chakra meditations and wearing blue crystals to help open my throat. I know this is a hurdle of mine. 

But...

I realized I am killing myself slowly. 

Bc...

I am terrified of living. 

The throat chakra is about self expression. Feeling and being heard. Believing that I have something worthy to say and will be heard. 

But...

That isn’t my truth. 

I haven’t been heard. At times.

I have ignored myself. At times. 

So...

No shocker that I am a self-choker. 

Today, Do you speak your truth? Truly. Say what you really feel. Let yourself speak your truth? 

I don’t. 

I lie. 

To myself and others. All to keep the peace. I say to myself it doesn’t matter and it’s not worth saying truths bc it’s only harmful. 

And so...

I choke. 

Well, no more choking. 

Actively, working on speaking the truth. My truth. Which doesn’t mean it is THE TRUTH. But...

It’s a start. 

Also, going to start repeating this mantra: 

“It’s safe to open my throat. It’s safe to say my truth. My throat is open. I allow air to flow freely. Inside my throat and outside.”

Amen. 

Xo