LOVE, Love love to travel! I am an avid flyer, I flew 231,521 miles in the past few years on United airlines. 

I started to have fun with the flights and see how people were when they boarded and after they left de-planned. It was always interesting to see peoples flight experiences. Same plane, different experience. So many variables to consider when flying. Who your companions are, the seat itself, flight attendant’s attitude either kind or stern, what Class you are in etc. 

Same plane, different experience. 

That’s what being a sibling feels like. 

I will never be able to explain to anyone else what my individual experience is. Especially, not my sibling. Same parents, different experience. 

So many variables to consider here like where the parents relationship is when you are growing up, where their careers are, how much money your parents have at different times, what state you live in, your birth order etc. 

Same parents, different experience. 

My “seat” was broken in a way that no one else will understand. I can explain my experience. Show them my experience. Ultimately, though they will never understand what it felt like to be on that seat in that plane at that time. 

It’s isolating and lonely to feel like you were all on this plane together as a “family” and not everyone will ever know or understand or feel what you felt. 

Especially, when the flight ends in a crash divorce. 

Each family member had a different vantage point and seat on the plane at the time. 

Same plane, different experience. 

Same parents, different experience. 

Today, what is an experience that you had which is vastly different from your seat mate? 

I remember a flight in Australia where my gf had two toddlers kicking the back of her seat non-stop. I slept the entire way and she was not rested at all. Understandably she needed to rest when we got to the hotel. And I bursting with energy went to the gym. Completely different experiences on the same flight one seat away that ended in vastly different outcomes. 

Noodle it :) 

Xoxo

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February 18th 2022 I started writing this post. I had it in a draft bc I was sooo in the lick of it. 

I couldn’t figure out how to dig myself out. 

All I had saved was this one line below and the screenshot of the definition for 

Dark night of the soul….

“It’s been a long time.”

Yikes! “It’s been a long time.” 

-Doesn’t that say it all. 

I’ve heard of the DNS. This was my first time experiencing it.

I felt like I was in a spiritual battle. Against? IDK?!? 

It was a battle. And I was losing. 

Strange. 

Bc…

Now, I don’t feel like I am in the DNS. 

I feel like I’m in the Gray Night of the Soul. 

It’s no longer pitch black darkness. It’s more like I can see the black turning gray. Kinda like a gradient. 

I am pulling myself out of this ditch slowly, inch by inch. 

Super interesting. 

Today, Have you ever been in a Dark Night of the Soul?!? If not, do you understand in theory?! Makes sense if you don’t bc I didn’t till I was IN IT.

It feels like you are being moved and can’t do anything about it. Battles keep coming at you and you have to just sit there and take it.

Almost, like sleep paralysis! Have you ever had that? If you have, then you understand what it feels like physically. Now, imagine you could move your body but that sleep paralysis hangover was ever present. Almost in a daze as violent attacks are aimed at you. 

If you haven’t had sleep paralysis or been in the DNS then just wait…

It will happen to you soon enough 😉 & we are here for you when it does!

Xo

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Mic 🎤….drop.

Today, Are you a giver or a taker?!?

I think at any time we can be both. You can be a giver to your BFF and then a taker from your mom. It’s normal to be in flux. Relationships are about giving and taking at different points. 

But…

If it’s a constant taking and taking and taking. 

This sign is so important to remember.

It’s up to us givers to set boundaries bc takers will keep taking and taking and taking.

When was the last time you felt like a buffet table right before Closing?!?! Been picked and picked at all day long. It’s exhausting…

Can you picture the person? 

Are they a taker??

Or a giver that just needs to take right now bc they are in a jam and need your energy?!

Noodle this and test it next time you feel drained. Let’s do this together 😉.

Xoxo

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All of the messages that I am hearing right now are that I am supposed to “Surrender.”

Everyone is saying it to me and @ me! 

It’s in my astrological crap, readings in the books, friends are saying it, whispers as downloads from the gods…

“

S

U

R

R

E

N

D

E

R

.

“

…

Ugh. 

F 💣 OFF. 

Look, I understand that I’m supposed to “Surrender.” But, just even hearing the word makes me feel rage. 

Like, gtfo. 

It’s like telling someone who is pissed to relax. It is the last mofo thing we want to hear. No, I will not reeelllax. Also, I will not “Surrender.” 

I can’t. 

Grrr…

What exactly am I “Surrendering” to anyways?!?

Today, Do you “Surrender?” 

Real question. 

Do you?!

To the moment?

To the situation?

To the problem at hand? 

In life?!

Look, I know know that the easiest way to stop yourself from suffering is to Let GO. 

But…”Surrendering” just feels irresponsible. Like we are not even trying. 

You want us to just give up?! 

And float?!?

Reminds me of the image of the best way to not drown when the waves are crashing around you is to float…

It’s so counterintuitive.

Fine. 

I’ll “try.”

Let’s “Surrender” to surrendering together. 😉 

Xoxo

Ps: this picture was taken from the Pintrest so no credit found. 

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Just realized that I write, “IDK” all the time when I’m journaling. It made me giggle. Bc when I was in college I used to turn words into acronyms to make shorthand easier. 

For example “customers” became, “C” and “work” became “W”, “interest became “i”

and so on….

I created these shorthand acronyms bc I use the words so much it became easier just to write the abbreviation. 

I write, “I DON’T KNOW” so much that I made it into an acronym without even realizing it. 

Bahahahahah.

I don’t know anything lately. I feel lost and confused and have NO clue wtf I’m supposed to do and pursue. 

Truly IDK. 

Today, Do you know?!?

Do you know where you are going and working towards?!?

Do you know where you belong?!?

Do you know who you are?!?

Hoping one of us does ;)!

Xo

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