Dating Charity

I don't do charity. I date charity.

For years I used my love life as my Charity.

"Send me your lost, loveless, issue ridden, detached..."

I dated the most adorably, ruggedly handsome, unavailable Lost puppies!

They did not want to be charity!

They did not want to change!

They did not Ask for my help!

But I took it upon myself to see past everything they said they were & believed through my LOVE I could make them want to be the person I thought they were capable of being.

I was NOT dating them for who they were at that moment. I was dating them for who I WANTED them to be.

Did I think my love & support could MOLD them into being who I needed?!?!

Yes!

I spent years upon years in hopes of creating the perfect mate.

Hmm...

How rude.

The person I was dating wasn't even invited to their own pity party I was throwing for them.

Ouch!

I refused to accept that who they told me they were... THEY ACTUALLY WERE!

Tears.
Tantrums.
Break-ups!
Moving out.

All this bc I wasn't dating an equal, full person from the start.

Finally, I realized that I need to save the charity work for people who ask for it & really need it.

How dare I use my dating life for charity work!

Today, be honest with yourself: Are there any people in your life that you are keeping a relationship with as "charity." That friend you have outgrown that you keep around. The security blanket relationship...co-dependent?

This might sound a bit harsh. But we have to be brutally honest with ourselves to ensure that we are constantly growing & expanding in a healthy capacity.

Who we spend our time with is a crucial component of a healthy emotional state. & we are doing anyone we are treating as charity a tremendous disservice. Bc we aren't seeing them as who they are but who we wish them to be.

Xo