Making new friends..ALONE!!

I am shy. 

As outgoing and charismatic as I can be, I am an extreme introvert. 

I am being very resistant to going to a particular place ALONE. 

Bc I'm afraid everyone else is gonna be friends & I'm not gonna know anyone. 

That they are gonna think I'm stupid. 

I won't be funny.

I'll have no friends. 

I will look stupid.
This feeling has prevented me from jumping fully into the Stand Up Open Mic scene thus far. 

Besides...

How do I put myself out there AGAIN?!?!

I have been performing short form & long form improv, sketch and all things Comedy for over 14 years. 

Acting over 16. 

& WHY do I have to put myself out there Again?!?

I feel like an old person at a cocktail party where everyone has this intoxicating hopeful driven vibe to mingle. 

And I'm the leftover. 

Standing in the corner. 

Bc of this feeling I'm scared to try new things in Comedy. 

&...

Show up for myself because I won't know anyone. 

I waited too long.

And I'm stupid. 

I find myself in a NEW vulnerable position.

I dislike this. 

A lot.

Bc I WANT to put myself out there and try new things! 

& I know know...

The second we stop pushing ourselves to grow as artists we die. 

So...

I challenged myself to think back to ALL of the scary times I had to go at something ALONE. 

Realizing that this is a huge hurdle for me! Being ALONE & trying to navigate this stuff. 

But I WANT to do this! 

Here are examples of times in the past that I have felt scared to go at something ALONE:

-First day at F.I.T.: I knew NO ONE but knew I wanted to be there. & I belonged at that school. 

-Beginning U.C.B.: I took my first long form improv class with a friend. But easily could have stopped bc she went on tour. Then I chose to sign up for level 2 alone. I met 2 of my best friends in that class! 

-1st day at any new job: UGH. Tummy tied with nervousness :/. 

ALONE & scared. But I met some of my best friends bartending together. 

...

I think about how I waited so long to begin some of these bc I was scared of starting them ALONE.

But once I had the courage to show up I made friends & was fine! 

Today, Journal out the scary times you have put yourself out there ALONE in the past. 

Went to a party, ALONE?

College, far away, ALONE? 

Job interviews, ALONE? 

Fine dining, ALONE? 

A

L

O

N

E

But who can you trust if you can't trust yourself, ALL ALONE?!?!

;) 

Xoxo